i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize