She went from zero to smokin in five shots
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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