did you get engaged???
i think my tv is drunk
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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