i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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