So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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