I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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