remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
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