Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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