I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize