I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize