So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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