Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize