I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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