the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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