nut hugger
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
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after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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