O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize