i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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