hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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