I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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