we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
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I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
They have beer where we have blood.
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