You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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