this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize