Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I can't trust your balls anymore.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
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