i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize