I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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