Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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