I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
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