She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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