Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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