After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
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As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Someone came in the potted fern
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
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He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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