New invention idea: vibrating tampons
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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