He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize