you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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