i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
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