There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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