ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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