remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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