If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize