When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize