the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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