Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
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Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
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i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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