I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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