took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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