You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize