I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize