Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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