Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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