I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize