But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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