Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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